The Heavy Heart
by Link of the Hyrulians
Summary: What happens when you take all the challenges out of life? What's left to live for when your skills with a sword are unrivaled, you're rich with nothing to spend the money on, and you're an invincible warrior?


Another successful day of tomb raiding. Daedra Lords fell before me, barely having the chance to draw their weapons before they crumpled into flames and ash. Golden Saints and all their underlings were no match for my blade. I made the long trek back to Caldera, my pack full of spoils, to visit my estranged friend Creeper.

The scamp chortled at me as I sold him my newly acquired weapons. I didn't know anything about these 'Daedra' people, but they sure had expensive swords. Creeper's the richest kid in this half of the world, I think, and he loves buying for reasons I have never understood. I do not question his motives as I spend days trading with him. Every 24 hours he acquires 5000 gold from somewhere, and so I barter. Where he gets this money I cannot imagine, nor do I want to know. I sell him a stolen sword worth 16000 (more than any commoner could dream of, by the way) and I buy back 11000 worth of weapons and armour that he acquired from me at some earlier date. I come back a day later and he's rich again. By this process I have made countless millions.

When my merchanting was done, I sighed and sat down in one of the houses I'd broken in to. I'd lost count of whose it was. I tried to rest for a while, but sleep would not comfort me. My thoughts drifted as I stared at the katana resting on the table, waiting for its next victim. There was no one who had even come close to outclassing my skill with a longblade. I began to think,  
"Does life hold any more challenges, or have I superseded them all? Breaking into houses, raiding tombs, stealing from shops and shrines... Yeah sure, the pay's good- better than any honest adventurer- but after a while, what's left to spend the money on?" I'd spent the past few moons talking to every soul in Morrowind who knew anything about anything. I had trained with them each for days, paying their fees until my skills had honed to theirs. Hecerinde had taught me everything he knew about locks and traps, and from my knowledge, there is nothing in the universe that I cannot open. I studied the arts of speechcraft and merchanting, of smithing and fighting. I was as able-bodied in heavy armour as I was in light, and my skills with any weapon were natural and unequalled.

I didn't know why, but I found myself out of bed, my feet marching me to my door. I decided that perhaps I try a new outfit- something more fierce than my humble chintin. I decided I would meet up with Creeper- he had most of my spoils, and I was sure to find a new me. As I left my house, an imperial guard watched me suspiciously.  
"Carry on," he said sternly as we passed. How could any be so ignorant to presume the authority to order me? To this hour, I do not know what urged me to draw my sword.

He was an imperial guard- my brethren. As a Blade, spy of the emperor, technicalities supposed I worked for him. I can only imagine if he wondered why I unsheathed my weapon, but before he could turn around my sword sank through his cuirass and he dropped to his knee with a scream of pain. Turning around, he immediately drew his weapon and hissed the charges of my arrest. I admired his dedication to his job. I had three options. Pay a fine (some meager 500 gold), hard labour (and wear myself down for months) or resist arrest. A twisted grin marked my face. We both knew my answer before I opened my mouth.  
"Then you shall pay in blood outlaw!"

He fell to the floor, lifeless, moments later. Every Imperial Guard in town rushed at me, weapons drawn. Cynically, I turned to greet them, a twisted grin upon my face, the blood still dripping from my sword. Finally, something to test my strength against.

I rushed at the bowman who drew his arrow. I slashed at his chest, cutting through his armour easily and he staggered backwards, his arrow flying harmlessly past. I finished him before he could draw again. Spears, swords, axes and maces flew at me. I was pummeled, I do not deny, but I fought my way to my feet every time I was beaten down. I was outnumbered but not outmatched, and when the pain grew too fierce, I drank from my potions and they brought new life to me, my wounds sealing themselves. One by one I conquered them, amidst the stampede of blows against me.

At last, the guards lay lifeless around my feet. I chuckled- nay, howled with laughter. I was undefeatable. An entire town of imperial guards had met their end at my hands. I looked around eagerly, my thirst for blood not nearly quenched. A Bosmer I had never spoken to walked past. I'm sure he had witnessed the battle, but he had not run for his life, and instead chose to pretend nothing had happened, perhaps assuming he'd have no quarrel with me. How dare he! He should have trembled with fear at my might! I turned on him, and he fell at once. At the back of my mind a voice admonished me of another crime to my name, but I cared not as the list began to grow.

I ran through the streets, slaying everyone I encountered. I broke into houses, picking locks (now that there were no guards to stop me) and killing every creature of every race inside. My old trading partner (I had never learned his name) greeted me. The guard that watched over his shop met a swift demise, and the keeper turned on me in rage. Taking a silver staff from his shelf (yours for only 600 gold pieces), he cast a spell at me. The spell missed, exploding on the counter, and I cut him down before he could try again. I looked around and saw a plate with three gold pieces on it. I stole them gleefully. How fiendish I was!

The Armourer hadn't yet heard the commotion outside, and he greeted me when I stepped into his shop. I smiled when I realised he was oblivious to my crimes, and inquired if he could repair my armour and weapons which had been damaged during the fighting.  
"You should clean the blood off them yourself," he said as he set to work. With skilled and swift hands, he sharpened the blade and repaired the dents and chips. I paid him happily for his services, before running my sword through him and leaving the door open behind me.

I found myself at the inn- the orcs here had no business with me and showed their respect through indifference. And yet when I slay the first, none came to his aid. One by one, I murdered them all, and they ignored their dying brethren. I reached the top where Creeper giggled maniacally. "Run Creeper," I thought to myself, the blood dripping from my sword steadily. Creeper had been my friend and partner, one of the few people I considered worth talking to, but everyone else was dead too and it wouldn't have been fair if he lived. He looked up at me with red, beady eyes and I raised my weapon. "Run for your life while it's still yours," I urged silently, but he gurgled his reply. I brought down my sword and ended him.

From his corpse I found the hundreds of items I had stolen and sold to him. I was a murderer. Shopkeepers, farmers, peasants, traders... All fell to my wrath, and still I sought more. I shed my Chintin armour which I had bought it when I first stepped foot on dry land after being released from the King's Prison. All those moons ago, when I had first befriended Arville, the trader in Seyda Neen... Distant memories, never to return to the life I knew. I stripped my armour and sought through Creeper's wares. I selected the Daedric Face of Inspiration - a helmet embellished in the likes of a demon- and a like shield with blades rimming its edge. I dressed in Orcish boots and cuirass, strapping Ordinator gauntlets to my arms. So much had I stolen, so many had I slain... I took up the armour with clenched fists.

I stepped out onto the street again, staring at myself in the shop window. My breath caught in my throat as I saw what I had become. I looked like a fiend from hell. My helmet and shield swore curses with every breath, and for a long time, I stood there, trance-like. It was some combination of reverent fear and sadness that bound me. I knew I was undefeatable now. My sword, painted red, trembled for more. The castle was on the hillside. I decided to search for blood there.

I threw open the doors and screamed, charging inside. My superior was the first man I saw, and coincidentally, the first to stop seeing from his lifeless eyes. I was expelled from his house, I noted grimly. Not that it mattered. No one in the castle had the chance to resist as I cut them down. They were not warriors, and I was unsatisfied with the fight.

I was an agile and lithe fighter. A skilled acrobat who could jump over most people's heads without effort. Combined with my uncanny strength and new armour, I was invincible. Admittedly, I was not use to the weight on my body (previously, my chintin armour had weighed about 40kg, and now I weighed 200) but it was strong and could survive a beating. Just like me.

The Mages Guild was the only building I had left untouched. I glanced over my shoulder, the lifeless bodies of countless innocents were strewn across the road. It had been a massacre. I wondered if history would remember me for it. Oblivious to the slaughter outside their door, I sheathed my weapon and stepped inside. They greeted me with warm smiles, admiring my expensive armour, and I asked to be transported magically to another town. I didn't care where, so in a flash of light, I found myself in the Wolverine Hall. These mages were strangers to me, but knew of my ties to the Guild.

Death, death, death. My pulse echoed in my temple as I dodged spells and drove my sword through pure hearts. I found my way outside and Imperial Guards started yelling and running at me. We were on top of a building from which no man could survive the fall, and they rushed at me upon a narrow staircase. One of them yelled at me,  
"Pay your fine of 3000 gold pieces, and return any items you've stolen, or fight!" I was dumbfounded the emperor was still able to forgive me after all the men I'd killed.

My memory dulled. Perhaps I had been struck in the head, or perhaps the mindless killing had driven me to a point beyond apathy. Nonetheless, when I next regained conscious awareness, it was night time, and I was watching a small encampment of merchants. It was almost a village, with a few grand buildings. The guard (although I couldn't recognise his armour, normally indicative of the council he works for) attacked me before I could even draw my sword. I wondered why for a moment, before running at him to break his bow before it could fire. I had done nothing to offend this man or his guild and he had initiated combat with a demon. It was too late for him.

I crept away to the top of a nearby hill and watched the traders surrounding the campfire. I saw another guard, like the one I had just slay, and wondered if he would provide any sort of fight. I leapt from the hilltop and fell to its base. Upon seeing me, half a dozen guards, maybe more rushed out. These were no imperials. They were skilled and varied in different styles of combat. I was assailed by arrows and greater bonewalkers materialised before me. Was it necromancy or just summoning? Either way, spells hit me from all sides and I felt my muscles weaken. These guards were far cleverer than my previous foes. My armour weighed me down as my strength waned, and I struck at with my sword weakly. They kept out of reach as I was unable to move from the bulk, firing volleys of arrows at me that pierced the gaps in my armour. They were using some kind of enervating spell.

Unable to move, I drew scrolls from my bag and fired spells at my opponents. I healed magically every time I was in danger, but fought for my survival tiredly.  
"So this is it," I found myself thinking as I launched spells at them. "I can finally pay for those I have slain." Secretly, I hoped they would finish me before I could cause more pain. I had but two restore health potions left, and still half a dozen to kill. Time slowed, and I shed everything that was weighing me down until I felt ready to move again. I left my armour on, but an assortment of dead weight was shed and I forced my muscles to carry me forwards. I struck down the archer that had been just out of sword reach and I moved swiftly, attacking the others. They fell before me- I wasn't sure who was doing what. All I saw was the red of their uniforms and I attacked without mercy. Archers, warriors, mages, they were all my enemies, and I no longer cared which one died first.

Their corpses lay in circles around me. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of light as another beast was summoned. Neither of them could reach me from where I was standing, for the market stalls separated us. 'So one remained,' I thought to myself. Was it minutes or seconds that passed? Either way, I took a moment to breathe before I dashed forwards and cleared the stalls, leaping over them. The beast turned to face me and raised a claw to strike. My sword got in first, and it staggered, wounded. It lunged again and I threw it off and finished it. The mage ran backwards, not taking her eyes off me and summoning another spell. A ball of white mana appeared between her hands, and as she threw it at me, as I dashed forwards to stop her. A bonewalker sprouted from where the magic hit the earth, but without its mistress to sustain it, it burst into flames and vanished.

I looked around. Another encampment slain and I was still alive, albeit weakened. Furious, I searched for more victims. Would I ever have my quietude? Blood dripped from my armour as I pushed open the door of a building. I killed the first person in sight, and I suddenly realised I was in the Thieves Guild. I had betrayed my code of honour. I narrowed my eyes and fought as all the thieves nearby drew their weapons with cries of outrage. I was saddened for I respected the thieves, but I had to defend myself and stop them. I left the building, a little heavier than last time, and found an alchemist's shop. A guard (like those I had slain earlier) was chatting with her and he lunged at me as soon as he recognised me. On his own, he was no challenge, but the alchemist didn't seem to mind. There was no different from killing her and chatting with her- so dulled were my senses, and so feeble my conscience.  
"I've heard there's a price on your head- a large one, too. You'd better watch yourself, Xin," she said when I talked to her. I smiled, surprised she didn't flee. I decided to humour her for a moment as I browsed her potions. 'What's this? Exclusive Restore Strength?' I made a quick selection of potions and purchased them all, drinking them on the spot. I felt my strength almost double as it restored to what it once was. Those mages were tricky, but not tricky enough. I thanked her graciously, and killed her soon after, leaving her where she fell.

I found my way to the Council chambers. The building was an interesting one, and it spindled down into the depths of the earth. I killed everyone on my way, not caring who they were. Some of them fought back, but none were match for me. I killed a priest, too. I only realised this after he was dead, and I was staring at the shrine of the inner temple.  
'I don't think I will ever become a bishop now,' I noted grimly and finished off his acolytes. To my surprise, I found a small shrine. Shrines accepted donations of gold, and in return, gave blessings. This one only asked for 5gp per blessing, and the grace of the gods restored my abilities which the mages had cut down earlier. Retaining my full strength and with added grace and agility, I carried on my slaughter. I was reminded somewhat grimly that by now I had surely earned the death penalty for my crimes. No amount of gold could repay the lives I took.

It was a beautiful building, with natural crystals glowing in the walls, amethyst, azure and emerald. It was a shame I didn't know where I was- I would have liked to have thanked its architect. I found a door that led to the balcony of what appeared to be a meeting chamber. I jumped down to the floor, so very far below, rather than finding stairs. The room was circular, shaped around the largest crystals I had ever seen. A shade of violet, they stood taller than I. On four pedestals, raised high above the ground, the four elders watched me, waiting to find out why I'd come to them. Swiftly, I climbed and leapt onto the first dais and killed the man. I jumped to the second, and so progressed to smite them all. There was one door left to take in the building. It led to what was apparently called the Hermit grounds. Curious, I went down to investigate.

A long, winding path led me to a small platform made of wood. A few chests, a few books and a hammock. That was all that adorned the place, and here it was a woman stood. She knew nothing of me, having no contact with the world so far above, and I sheathed my weapon to talk for a while. I'm not sure why I didn't kill her outright. I guess it was loneliness. She was beautiful, in her own way. She didn't seem human, that was for sure. Perhaps she was a Dunmer- a dark elf. I admired and praised her on her face and humble dwelling, and she smiled at me shyly and laughed. I stayed for a while, throwing compliments at her. Half of them she believed, half of them she rejected. I was enjoying this chat with a simple commoner and made it my goal for her to fall in love with my charm. I was a stranger, and still she began to love me. Nothing I could say or do would get her to admit it though, and tiring, I drew my weapon and ended our conversation.

I felt the fatigue began to settle within me. All that running, all that killing... I lay down on her hammock for a while to rest the burden of innocent death that weighed upon my shoulders. I awoke suddenly, sitting up. One thought resounded through my head.  
"There is no one in all of Morrowind who has the strength to stop me." If I had killed an entire town of Imperial Guards, then there was no challenge left in the world. I got up, and made my heavy steps downwards, following the spiral to wherever it led, wondering how far into the earth I would venture. All that remained was a sort of grotto filled with water. From my experiences, people hid things in the water- chests with valuables, bodies with valuables, valuable valuables... My months of thieving had taught me a lot about treasures and tombs.

I dove into the water, drinking a potion of Night Eye to see properly. At first, I had intended to search for gold of some sort, but as soon as I hit the water, I felt a great peace overwhelm me. Alone, by myself, in the deep recesses of some unknown cavern, hidden away in the unlikeliest of places… I felt my lungs begin to tense, and I looked up at the air above me. I could have reached it if I wanted to.

I treaded water for a while, neither sinking nor falling, and took a swig from my potion of water breathing. I didn't want to surface just yet. The water was too calm, too serene. I looked into the depths of the water, and I was surprised to see me staring at a ghostly apparition of myself. The harder I looked, the more solid my reflection. How, I wasn't sure, but it intrigued me. My lungs begged at me, and I took another gulp of potion. No tears spilled from my eyes at I stared at the monster I had become. I drew my sword and stared at it as it polluted the sapphire water around me with its ruby hatred. I looked into the black abyss of the helmet that served as eyes. There were potions of health and water breathing left in my bag, but I ignored them.

Some day, when my body was found, people would know me as Xin the Terrible, and they'd wonder why I didn't drink. Maybe I died before I could. Maybe I forgot I had them. Maybe someone had killed me and dumped me in the water. Only I would know, and I would take it with me to the grave. I expelled the last of the air in my lungs and sank to the bottom, taking my armour, my legacy, and my heavy heart with me.


End file.
